Go Slow to Go Fast
We live in a world that glorifies speed, fast results, quick decisions, immediate gratification. But what if the key to true efficiency, success, and fulfillment is actually the opposite? What if slowing down is the fastest way to get where we want to go?
The Lesson of Patience: From Woodworking to Life
Precision and patience leads to progress. Taking the time to measure carefully before cutting — both in woodworking and in life — helps avoid costly mistakes and unnecessary rework.
I first encountered this lesson formally through a mentor who frequently emphasized the importance of "going slow to go fast." This concept is widely discussed in product development, where teams often feel pressure to move quickly but risk making costly mistakes or missing better solutions by skipping deeper exploration. If you're interested in exploring this further, I recommend these articles: How to Make the Case for Slowing Down and Feels Like Faster vs. Makes Us Faster.
But for me, the lesson really hit home in a woodworking class.
I grew up a high-energy, impatient person, convinced that speed was synonymous with efficiency. In woodworking, I took that same approach — rushing to cut pieces of wood, moving ahead of my classmates, feeling productive. At first, it seemed like I was making incredible progress. But as the project wore on, my mistakes piled up. I was measuring once and cutting twice (sometimes more), constantly fixing errors, and ultimately, I didn’t even finish the class project.
I had to face an uncomfortable and disappointing truth: my need to go fast was actually slowing me down.
Many people assume that moving quickly means you’re getting more done. You finish tasks, move on to the next thing, and keep the momentum going. But what often gets overlooked is the trade-off: as speed increases, quality and thoroughness decrease.
Research supports this idea.
Studies on decision fatigue indicate that making numerous rapid decisions without adequate rest impairs cognitive functions, leading to poorer quality outcomes (Baumeister et al., 1998). Additionally, unconscious thought theory suggests that deeper, unconscious processing can lead (Dijksterhuis & Nordgren, 2006) to better decision-making in complex situations compared to immediate conscious deliberation. The brain, when rushed, skips over details, defaults to habitual thinking, and reduces creative problem-solving.
When Slowing Down Leads to Better Results
One area where I’ve seen this play out is decision-making. I actually make decisions quickly when I understand the constraints — how much time I have, how much information I need, and how important the decision is. I’ve learned to build in tolerance for slowing down when needed.
In product development, for example, it’s easy to assume that the first solution you come up with is the best one. However, behavioral economics research shows that jumping to the first answer often stunts creativity and prevents better solutions from emerging (Kahneman, 2011). Sometimes, the extra time spent thinking through alternatives results in an exponentially better outcome.
Research also suggests that engaging in activities like walking can enhance creativity, reinforcing the idea that slowing down (even physically) can boost cognitive performance (Oppezzo & Schwartz, 2014). performance and lead to better solutions.
The Risks of Rushing
There’s a price to moving too fast.
The obvious risk is making mistakes and having to redo work.
But sometimes, you don’t even get the opportunity to redo something. This is especially true in relationships and social interactions. First impressions — whether in a job interview, a first date, or a networking event — are often one-time opportunities. Sure, you might run into that person again, but it’s not something to count on.
Another consequence of rushing is imposing unnecessary costs — on yourself and others. In woodworking, I wasted more time, energy, and materials than I would have if I had measured carefully before cutting.
In work and life, rushing can lead to wasted effort, burnt-out teams, or decisions that create bigger problems down the road.
And worst of all, moving too fast can mean missing things — important details, crucial signals, or even damaging relationships and situations.
How This Applies to Dating
Dating isn’t a race — meaningful connections take time. Focus on the conversation, not just the outcome.
Speed can be especially detrimental in dating and relationships. When you focus purely on outcomes (finding a relationship, getting to the next step), interactions start to feel transactional.
Beyond that, if you’re rushing without considering how you're getting to that outcome, you’re more likely to overlook important details, make mistakes, and even self-sabotage.
Many people approach dating as a series of tasks — match, message, meet, repeat — without slowing down to assess whether they’re enjoying the process, learning about themselves, or building real connections.
Signs You Need to Slow Down
When the grind takes over, it's a sign to slow down. If your life feels like a never-ending to-do list, it might be time to reset.
If you’re wondering whether you might be moving too fast, here are some warning signs:
You feel like you’re just checking off boxes.
You’re not feeling a genuine connection in your interactions.
Your perspective is entirely self-focused — what you want, what you’re getting (or not getting).
You’re not curious — you already assume you know the answer or aren’t interested in exploring.
You’re not present in the moment to enjoy, learn, or experience what’s happening.
Practical Advice for Slowing Down
Slowing down isn't just a mindset — it can be a literal step forward. A quiet walk in nature can help reset your thoughts, improve decision-making, and bring clarity.
If you feel the pressure to rush — whether in work, life, or dating — here are some ways to reframe your thinking:
Consider the neuroscience. The brain performs better when it has space to think. Slowing down allows for deeper problem-solving, better creativity, and improved decision-making.
Take the long view. What are you ultimately trying to achieve in life? Why do you want a relationship? Why do you want to advance in your career? Most of the time, it’s not just about the thing itself — it’s about having a fulfilling life.
Think holistically. A meaningful life isn’t just about one aspect — dating, a job, money. I like using the Wellness Wheel as a tool to assess all areas of life and ensure I’m not overly fixated on just one piece of the puzzle.
Final Thoughts
Going slow to go fast isn’t about dragging your feet or procrastinating. It’s about being intentional and recognizing that sometimes, the best way to move forward efficiently is to pause, think, and move with purpose.
Whether in work, relationships, or life in general, slowing down can be the fastest way to get where you truly want to go.
