Thinking of Meeting IRL? Try a Quick Video Call First
🕒 Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Your screen pings: “It’s a match!”
You (or they) bring the Grade A banter, and before you know it, there’s a spark over text.
You can’t wait to see their funny/adorable/amazing texts gifs emojis stickers.
Perhaps you also check their profile multiple times a day in case you forgot what they looked like.
Before exchanging a few hundred more texts or planning a first date, I suggest scheduling a quick video call. It’s a low-effort, high-value way to connect, confirm, and see if the vibe translates from text to semi-in-person.
Not sold? Or your match is iffy about the idea? Humor me and read on to learn why video calls are worth it (and how to handle objections).
If You’re Hesitant: Why You Should Experiment
Save Time and Energy
Yes, you felt the text-spark. But text-sparks don’t always carry over to in real life (that’s right, IRL). A 10 minute video call can save you hours of researching locations, planning around traffic, getting ready, commuting, and sitting through an awkward date.
For analogy fans:
texts : movie poster :: video call : movie trailer
Spot Red and Green Flags!
You can learn a lot from hearing tone and seeing body language. Basically, how this person handles a live conversation. A video call lets you pick up on potential red flags — like interrupting, disrespect, or a lack of chemistry — that can be hard to spot over text.
On the flip side, it could confirm your match is every bit as great as they seemed — and you can feel confident about proceeding full-speed ahead.
Want more help identifying early signs? Check out: Noticing the Signs: Green Flags, Red Flags, and Gut Checks When You Meet Someone New. Basically, how this person handles a live conversation. A video call lets you pick up on potential red flags, like interrupting, disrespect, or a lack of chemistry.
On the flip side, it could confirm your match is every bit as great as they seemed — and you can feel confident about proceeding full-speed ahead.
Stay Safe
Meeting someone in person without first verifying who they are can be risky. A video call adds a layer of safety and helps build early trust.
Curious how to spot behaviors that feel off? Read my Online Dating Safety Guide. A video call adds a layer of safety by giving you a chance to verify who someone is before meeting in person. If they avoid it or make excuses, this could be a red flag — so start paying close attention.
Lower the Pressure
No need for perfect lighting, your date outfit, or a spotless room. Keep it casual: hoodie, messy hair, coffee in hand. The point isn’t to impress — it’s to see if you click.
Or if you’re already dressed up and on your way out somewhere, that’s a great opportunity to have a call and a real reason to keep it short. Two birds!
If Your Match is Hesitant: How to Approach the Conversation
So, let’s say you’re sold, but your match is not. Here are four common objections — and how to respond.
Objection #1: "I don’t do video calls. Can’t we just meet?"
This might mean they’re nervous or don’t see the value. Reassure them it’s not a formal interview—just a quick, casual chat to break the ice.
Try saying:
"I totally get it. I’ve found quick 5-10 minute chats make in-person dates so much better. Would love to say hi today or tomorrow if you’re up for it!"
Objection #2: "I don’t want to get ready for a video call."
Emphasize there’s no need to dress up. It’s about comfort, not perfection.
Try saying:
"Same here! I’ll probably be in a sweatshirt. Let’s keep it casual — this is just to see if we vibe before meeting up."
Objection #3: "I don’t feel comfortable on video."
Acknowledge their feelings and suggest alternatives like voice calls, but highlight the benefits.
Try saying:
"I get that calls can feel weird. I do find they’re a great way to feel more comfortable before meeting. Would a quick voice call work better?"
Objection #4: "No." or “That’s weird.”
When asking someone a yes-or-no question, some people will say “no.” It will happen. The only way to avoid this is to not ask at all.
View this as matches screening themselves out, not rejecting you. In fact, both of you are strangers to each other, so it’s hard to say they’re rejecting you specifically. The most we can be sure of is they are rejecting your request to get to know each other in a different, possibly more realistic medium.
Try saying:
"I understand."
(Hint: steer clear of a debate or argument.)
Final Thoughts
Video calls are about connection, not perfection. Whether you’re hesitant or trying to convince your match, keep it casual and low-pressure. A few minutes on video can save time, build trust, and help both parties feel more confident about meeting in person.
My Challenge to You
Next time you’re about to ask someone on a first date (or you’re being asked out), try a video call first. Who knows? It might even become your go-to pre-date ritual.
Tried these tips? I’d love to hear how it went! Email me at Info@DateLabHQ.com.
Want Help Navigating Conversations Like This?
Not sure how to bring it up, respond to rejection, or filter for better matches? Let’s talk.
I offer 1:1 coaching sessions to help you get clear, communicate with confidence, and move forward in your dating life. Book a free into call here.
